Darius Travers

I don't drink coffee, I take tea, my dear.
I like my toast done on one side
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk,
( I'm an Englishman )

[Public because Darius is too distressed to ward]

I've run out of sea spray potion. Does anywhere in this place sell good quality sea spray potion? Barty, find out next time you go grocery shopping. I need more sea spray potion!

[Death Eaters]

Okay, I'm in these stupid, dirty pyramids. Where are you all?

[Warded to Death Eaters]

Anyone else notice anything interesting about that purple hat? Aside from it being an eyesore.

Edited after this: They're going to the pyramids in Cairo. Definitely him who transfigured it.

[Private to Death Eaters]

Since Wilkes has such issues with everyones hair, here is a guide to help you all.

How to Have Hair Like D. S. Travers:

1. Most of you will need to grow your hair first. There are potions available that make this happen quicker. Buy some.
2. Get your hair cut into layers. Best to get a professional to do this. Your mum won't be good enough, Rowle.
3. Wash your hair.
4. Dry.
5. Add some sea spray potion.
6. Tease. If you need a demonstration on how to do this, I can show you.
7. Lift roots. As above, I can demonstrate.
8.  Add shine and smoothing potion.
9. Charm your hair to stay like this so the style doesn't fall apart during the day.
10. Finally look good.

You're welcome.

[Warded to Death Eaters]

Why does sand get everywhere? You should all take your shoes and socks off before entering the house to attempt to prevent this.

Next time we should go to Singapore. I hear it's clean there.

If I had known these things were going to be so messy, I wouldn't have even bothered.